Fat lip (Taken with instagram)

I think I might start telling guys I’m a virgin as a joke.

Dude: Hey
Me: Hey
Dude: What are you doing?
Me: Watching Netflix. You?
Dude: Thinking about you.
Me: Why? That’s nice, I guess.
Dude: I’m horny. What are you wearing?
Me: I’m wearing sweats.
Dude: What are you wearing underneath your sweats?
Me: Underwear.
Dude: What kind?
Me: Blue bikinis.
Dude: Send me a pic.
Me: (uuuhhhhh…?)
Dude: I’ll send you one for inspiration.
Me: What are you doing that you can just send me a picture of your dick? Aren’t you out of town with other people?

I am so fucking sexy.

I love baby soup.

I’m not a writer but I am at work getting paid to sit and do this.